this is so hard, actually, even as someone who thinks himself to be fairly open. but he's aware that if he doesn't answer, then tokinaga won't, and then he'll lose his chance and tokinaga will never open up again and also this road ends with tokinaga hating him, somehow,]
To "deserve better", that implies some sort of standard to be met, some unconditional affection that should be given, but... [a light frown.] I don't doubt that my mother cared about me, but I suspect she wouldn't have had me if she had the choice, and my father only liked me as a weak and pathetic "pet" he could dote on. My siblings hate or ignore me for being half-commoner.
[...]
You said it was brave to aim for the throne even if it meant attempts on my life, but it's the other way around. The only way I was going to survive was if I gained allies, and to do that, I had to be useful enough for my existence to have "value" to others.
... So rather than deserve better, I have had it impressed on me all my life that I don't deserve anything in the first place—not unless I have earned it.
no subject
this is so hard, actually, even as someone who thinks himself to be fairly open. but he's aware that if he doesn't answer, then tokinaga won't, and then he'll lose his chance and tokinaga will never open up again and also this road ends with tokinaga hating him, somehow,]
To "deserve better", that implies some sort of standard to be met, some unconditional affection that should be given, but... [a light frown.] I don't doubt that my mother cared about me, but I suspect she wouldn't have had me if she had the choice, and my father only liked me as a weak and pathetic "pet" he could dote on. My siblings hate or ignore me for being half-commoner.
[...]
You said it was brave to aim for the throne even if it meant attempts on my life, but it's the other way around. The only way I was going to survive was if I gained allies, and to do that, I had to be useful enough for my existence to have "value" to others.
... So rather than deserve better, I have had it impressed on me all my life that I don't deserve anything in the first place—not unless I have earned it.