this is so hard, actually, even as someone who thinks himself to be fairly open. but he's aware that if he doesn't answer, then tokinaga won't, and then he'll lose his chance and tokinaga will never open up again and also this road ends with tokinaga hating him, somehow,]
To "deserve better", that implies some sort of standard to be met, some unconditional affection that should be given, but... [a light frown.] I don't doubt that my mother cared about me, but I suspect she wouldn't have had me if she had the choice, and my father only liked me as a weak and pathetic "pet" he could dote on. My siblings hate or ignore me for being half-commoner.
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You said it was brave to aim for the throne even if it meant attempts on my life, but it's the other way around. The only way I was going to survive was if I gained allies, and to do that, I had to be useful enough for my existence to have "value" to others.
... So rather than deserve better, I have had it impressed on me all my life that I don't deserve anything in the first place—not unless I have earned it.
Two things can be true, you know. You can have made the decision out of necessity, and still be brave to do it.
And it feels like you've done a lot to earn it, from my eyes. As a person that doesn't know anything much at all about royal tensions and having to play crowds that way, anyway. I don't have any bias for that.
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In the end, people will just assume things, like I'm crazy, or I'm degenerate, that I have ulterior motives...
If I can guide things along without them needing the full picture then they don't need to know anyway.
For a lot of people, the less they know, the better.
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... You still deserve better than that, Tokinaga.
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[don't turn this against him???]
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Self-sacrificial...
[ ...Brat... Lucien isn't goblin enough to call him a brat but it's somewhere between that and 'kid'. ]
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I'm simply carrying out my existence as a prince. [it's not self-sacrificial!!!] This is a different matter from what you're dealing with.
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I've already said a lot.
[ You truly have to pry it out of this guy with both hands... ]
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[HELLO? FUCK YOU]
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[ TO BE FAIR HERE. Tokinaga really mostly chose 'ya ok I won't'. ]
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he gives him a serious look. :/ ]
If I answer, will you really, or will you find a way to get out of it?
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[ Puts his hand on the wheels. Does a little shimmy. ]
How am I gonna get out of it, anyway.
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[distrust]
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But sure. I'll answer honestly if you answer honestly.
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this is so hard, actually, even as someone who thinks himself to be fairly open. but he's aware that if he doesn't answer, then tokinaga won't, and then he'll lose his chance and tokinaga will never open up again and also this road ends with tokinaga hating him, somehow,]
To "deserve better", that implies some sort of standard to be met, some unconditional affection that should be given, but... [a light frown.] I don't doubt that my mother cared about me, but I suspect she wouldn't have had me if she had the choice, and my father only liked me as a weak and pathetic "pet" he could dote on. My siblings hate or ignore me for being half-commoner.
[...]
You said it was brave to aim for the throne even if it meant attempts on my life, but it's the other way around. The only way I was going to survive was if I gained allies, and to do that, I had to be useful enough for my existence to have "value" to others.
... So rather than deserve better, I have had it impressed on me all my life that I don't deserve anything in the first place—not unless I have earned it.
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And it feels like you've done a lot to earn it, from my eyes. As a person that doesn't know anything much at all about royal tensions and having to play crowds that way, anyway. I don't have any bias for that.
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