—Ah, pardon. I do have to correct myself. There was a second Membrum after Sammy in that timeline [this was me jan forgetting about this], so four Carnivals altogether, though that wouldn't have anything to do with the inconsistency.
Rather, the issue is that in what I've seen here, Lady Orla wasn't caught—because Lady Anastasia was about to be voted for by the jurors, so I declared myself the Membrum to be executed in her place.
[says that bluntly.]
Though given that Lady Anastasia immediately caught onto what I was doing, and I doubt that Mael, who was also a Sacrificium in that trial, would've simply believed me either... perhaps they got the trial extended somehow? It sounds unusual, but if anyone could make it happen, it would be Lady Anastasia.
[ Obviously voicing his dislike of such a thing now doesn't really do anything, but you know. Can't help himself. Not like he doesn't understand! Doesn't mean he has to like it when somebody else does. Nobody said he couldn't be hypocritical on top of comically salty. I really thought it'd be strictly limited to Anastasia's LIs though, this game really is more YTTD than otome help me. ]
Do you think... you were close to figuring out how to break free?
[meanwhile lucien is just like oh thank the goddess that at least one of my deaths was useful to anastasia, versus the time i apparently died trying to save her and it was used to fuck her over instead.
...
he takes a moment to lowkey breathe in and out, trying to compartmentalize his emotions, between the memory he witnessed that he has decided he will unpack later (or maybe not at all, because what is there to unpack, really) and tokinaga's question, so as to avoid getting worked up and accidentally summoning a fever.]
We did figure out how to proceed, and I came up with a plan.
You know, you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to think about either.
[ Just want to make sure he knows. The last thing he wants is for Lucien to get sick or upset because... what, to answer a few random questions of his curiosity? ]
[it's nothing that he doesn't think about constantly here anyway.]
There is no magic or anything like that that can stop the witch. But his magic isn't omnipotent either—a person becomes a Membrum only because when he calls, something in their heart answers them.
Crius Castlerock, for instance, never killed once even after becoming a Membrum, because his will was stronger than the witch's.
[between his own experiences and witnessing the memory just now, where crius was basically right about everything ever while lucien otoh has the worst judgment, lucien is convinced that crius is one of the greatest people in the world, actually?]
So the solution is to give the people a reason to reject him. To reveal that contrary to popular belief, he doesn't provide them with any special power, and is nothing more than a stranger to their ear suggesting that they kill. [...] If they realize that, and can truly bring themselves to believe that becoming a Membrum will only result in tragedy and their own death, then they have no reason to accept his contract.
Of course, people already know rationally not to give into temptation, so we needed to go further.
The plan was for me to give an imperial decree, as those are done so rarely that the people know it to be important. Ideally, Father would've done so, but we knew he would refuse, and thus it fell on me. [when your father reliably sucks so that you can plan based on it...] Even Lister came around to it, and he accused me of having unripe bananas in my head at first.
But as he said, we need three things: credibility, folklore, and impact. We had all three covered with the finer details, thanks to him and Zenn.
[there is an elephant in the room here but anyhow.]
[tyril started being so mean to lucien the moment they learned [redacted] but (anastasia voice) it's probably okay since lucien doesn't seem to mind
...
there is something bitter, if guilty, in lucien's smile, but he's not going to point out the glaring issue if it hasn't occurred to tokinaga, given that it'll only make tokinaga feel bad.]
The four of them—Lady Anastasia, Crius, Lister, and Zenn—are some of the most reliable people I know. [...] Lady Anastasia wasn't able to work with everyone altogether in her previous lives, so may that be her greatest strength from now on.
[lucien is at least pretty sure the witch wouldn't bother with making anastasia a membrum again considering it didn't lead the witch any closer to victory the last time he did that (and also, unlike him, she'd probably be able to resist this time around), so the sole problem really is lucien himself, because nothing says "you are the one and complete failure in this operation" than becoming a membrum the night before your anti-membrum speech, so maybe they should find someone less pathetic to do it? somehow?]
Indeed. They're good people. [and despite lucien's own failings—] And even if it may seem naive, I do genuinely believe in the people's strength, when it comes down to it.
[ Can you stop, you just need to wait until your friendship speech route...
He's quiet again while he stares out at the icy flats of the lake surface. It's not thoughtshare week anymore... he's free to think whatever he wants... ]
I hope you find out what this witch's deal is with your kingdom's history.
[unfortunately lucien has accepted there is a real possibility anastasia might rewind time if they can't figure out a replacement for him (the idea that she might rewind time because she doesn't want lucien being dead, personally, does not occur to him) even though he really doesn't want her to use that ability again.]
... As do I. [...] It might sound strange, but a part of me was thinking... if everything could be settled [if lucien can safely come back to life], that I might ask the witch what happened. Not just to understand why he hates us, but...
[has the witch been ruining their lives repeatedly? sure, but—]
Father burned every piece of rare historical text, in the name of some kind of conspiracy. If Ish—the witch—is the only being left in the world who knows the full and true history, then I want to leave behind a record of it.
Then that's all the more reason to know. [says that firmly.] I'm not so naive as to think that, if it truly is something that will shake the world, I could simply reveal it at once to the populace in my lifetime. But we have to start somewhere.
Tokinaga, I get the feeling you're thinking about something besides my circumstances. [which is fine, because honestly, lucien wonders if tokinaga isn't sick of hearing about lucien's problems all the fckin time, but—] May I ask if that's the case?
[also if you ever want to give a mem back feel free I'M SORRY TOKINAGA HAS JUST HAD TO REPEATEDLY LEARN MORE ABOUT TIME LOOPS THAN HE EVER WANTED. i can also interrupt with a stupid memory any time.]
[ I was about to ask you in my next tag if you wanted a mem funnily enough
So sure, he's just staring off into the ice and...
A young Tokinaga, about fifteen or so, has already decided where he needs to be in his future. He studies for years and years and years, and he's accepted at the age of 24, into the Meteorology Division. He arranges to have a personal meeting with the head of department. There, he tells him everything -- of the true origin of the IPOs, and the demon responsible behind it all. You had all your evidence lined up, having had nine years to organise it all, and you made sure they were in an order that made the most sense, was the easiest to follow.
He soon finds his coworkers has become distant from him, and he's thereafter removed from the team. His head of department approaches him not much longer after that and explains how they cannot have him working here, and to put it lightly, pressures him to quit. He silently walks back to his bare desk, and the reality of what just happened sinks in.
'......I screwed up...! I have to go back... to my first day...!'
Back then, his bruises only came up just to his ankles. This time, when he speaks to his head of department, he avoids mentioning Nisroca at all. This time, he mentions that the sea soil samples retrieved by an investigation team in 1990 may have a connection with the appearance of IPOs. He posits it purely as hypothesis and theory, so they don't question his mental state again.
But he's a member of the IPO Invasion Prediction Department of the Meteorology Division. This is above anyone's paygrade here. They're already busy as-is, so if Tokinaga wants to work on anything else, he's instructed to pursue it as a personal side project.
Two years later. They'd never followed up on his warnings, he's not heard a word. He should be getting for work already, but he can't bring himself to do it. He remains in bed, haggard in appearance and worn down. His psyche's been crushed by the persistent tension and unease brought on by his need to try to change things, to save people -- but nobody had listened. He's stopped liking people, and feels so utterly alone.
'Nobody even wants to listen. Even though so many people are going to die if they don't...'
Then, a voice beside him cheerily yips.
"Tokinaga! Good morning! You're going to be late for work!"
There's some... creature beside him. Even through the haze of memory, its form is a little unclear to Lucien's perception, but it appears as some sort of amalgamation of features -- an eyeless sharp maw with antler-like horns, birds' wings and feet, and a snake-like tail.
"Everyone's going to die anyway," he replies dully, face buried in his pillow. The creature lays there on its back, feetsies up in the air, though its ears fall. It's hard to read, but maybe it's in thought.
"......Tokinaga, you're... so sensitive to the suffering of others, but you undervalue your own far too much." Then, with a renewed cheer, it shouts -- "That's why I like you, Tokinaga! You're so kind!"
Something about that kicks Tokinaga back into focus, slowly sitting up. There's a mild horror to his face as he realises how far he'd fallen.
"......You're... right. I... I used to have a human heart. That's why I wanted to help others to begin with. I'd stopped believing in anybody -- I almost just lost myself."
Ah. He can't let that happen. Ever. The creature uprights itself, ears perked back up again.
"Tokinaga's back to normal! Hooray!"
The Tokinaga in the memory looks back, managing a slight smile once more.
The Tokinaga in present watches that play out with a complicated expression. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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—Ah, pardon. I do have to correct myself. There was a second Membrum after Sammy in that timeline [this was me jan forgetting about this], so four Carnivals altogether, though that wouldn't have anything to do with the inconsistency.
Rather, the issue is that in what I've seen here, Lady Orla wasn't caught—because Lady Anastasia was about to be voted for by the jurors, so I declared myself the Membrum to be executed in her place.
[says that bluntly.]
Though given that Lady Anastasia immediately caught onto what I was doing, and I doubt that Mael, who was also a Sacrificium in that trial, would've simply believed me either... perhaps they got the trial extended somehow? It sounds unusual, but if anyone could make it happen, it would be Lady Anastasia.
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[ Obviously voicing his dislike of such a thing now doesn't really do anything, but you know. Can't help himself. Not like he doesn't understand! Doesn't mean he has to like it when somebody else does. Nobody said he couldn't be hypocritical on top of comically salty. I really thought it'd be strictly limited to Anastasia's LIs though, this game really is more YTTD than otome help me. ]
Do you think... you were close to figuring out how to break free?
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...
he takes a moment to lowkey breathe in and out, trying to compartmentalize his emotions, between the memory he witnessed that he has decided he will unpack later (or maybe not at all, because what is there to unpack, really) and tokinaga's question, so as to avoid getting worked up and accidentally summoning a fever.]
We did figure out how to proceed, and I came up with a plan.
[there is an unspoken "but".]
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You know, you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to think about either.
[ Just want to make sure he knows. The last thing he wants is for Lucien to get sick or upset because... what, to answer a few random questions of his curiosity? ]
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[it's nothing that he doesn't think about constantly here anyway.]
There is no magic or anything like that that can stop the witch. But his magic isn't omnipotent either—a person becomes a Membrum only because when he calls, something in their heart answers them.
Crius Castlerock, for instance, never killed once even after becoming a Membrum, because his will was stronger than the witch's.
[between his own experiences and witnessing the memory just now, where crius was basically right about everything ever while lucien otoh has the worst judgment, lucien is convinced that crius is one of the greatest people in the world, actually?]
So the solution is to give the people a reason to reject him. To reveal that contrary to popular belief, he doesn't provide them with any special power, and is nothing more than a stranger to their ear suggesting that they kill. [...] If they realize that, and can truly bring themselves to believe that becoming a Membrum will only result in tragedy and their own death, then they have no reason to accept his contract.
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[ And... maybe being in a position of power to be to be able to write that statement as truth is a boon? ]
I think I get it.
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Of course, people already know rationally not to give into temptation, so we needed to go further.
The plan was for me to give an imperial decree, as those are done so rarely that the people know it to be important. Ideally, Father would've done so, but we knew he would refuse, and thus it fell on me. [when your father reliably sucks so that you can plan based on it...] Even Lister came around to it, and he accused me of having unripe bananas in my head at first.
But as he said, we need three things: credibility, folklore, and impact. We had all three covered with the finer details, thanks to him and Zenn.
[there is an elephant in the room here but anyhow.]
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[ UNRIPE BANANAS IN THE HEAD? ]
Sounds like you got a lot of things figured out between all of you.
That's good.
[ Whoa... power of friendship or whatever... Tokinaga's not going to point out any flaws or wrenches here, he wants you to succeed. ]
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...
there is something bitter, if guilty, in lucien's smile, but he's not going to point out the glaring issue if it hasn't occurred to tokinaga, given that it'll only make tokinaga feel bad.]
The four of them—Lady Anastasia, Crius, Lister, and Zenn—are some of the most reliable people I know. [...] Lady Anastasia wasn't able to work with everyone altogether in her previous lives, so may that be her greatest strength from now on.
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You have a... really complicated family to say the least, but I'm glad you have allies too.
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Indeed. They're good people. [and despite lucien's own failings—] And even if it may seem naive, I do genuinely believe in the people's strength, when it comes down to it.
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He's quiet again while he stares out at the icy flats of the lake surface. It's not thoughtshare week anymore... he's free to think whatever he wants... ]
I hope you find out what this witch's deal is with your kingdom's history.
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... As do I. [...] It might sound strange, but a part of me was thinking... if everything could be settled [if lucien can safely come back to life], that I might ask the witch what happened. Not just to understand why he hates us, but...
[has the witch been ruining their lives repeatedly? sure, but—]
Father burned every piece of rare historical text, in the name of some kind of conspiracy. If Ish—the witch—is the only being left in the world who knows the full and true history, then I want to leave behind a record of it.
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Nice of you as always, Lucien-kun. Or should I say righteous?
[ Just not self- righteous. ]
What if it's something that goes against everything you've ever known about your world?
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I can't imagine what'd turn someone who was supposedly good like that [ Presumably? As an attendant of the Goddess ] into such a demon.
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Tokinaga, I get the feeling you're thinking about something besides my circumstances. [which is fine, because honestly, lucien wonders if tokinaga isn't sick of hearing about lucien's problems all the fckin time, but—] May I ask if that's the case?
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[also if you ever want to give a mem back feel free I'M SORRY TOKINAGA HAS JUST HAD TO REPEATEDLY LEARN MORE ABOUT TIME LOOPS THAN HE EVER WANTED. i can also interrupt with a stupid memory any time.]
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So sure, he's just staring off into the ice and...
He soon finds his coworkers has become distant from him, and he's thereafter removed from the team. His head of department approaches him not much longer after that and explains how they cannot have him working here, and to put it lightly, pressures him to quit. He silently walks back to his bare desk, and the reality of what just happened sinks in.
'......I screwed up...! I have to go back... to my first day...!'
Back then, his bruises only came up just to his ankles. This time, when he speaks to his head of department, he avoids mentioning Nisroca at all. This time, he mentions that the sea soil samples retrieved by an investigation team in 1990 may have a connection with the appearance of IPOs. He posits it purely as hypothesis and theory, so they don't question his mental state again.
But he's a member of the IPO Invasion Prediction Department of the Meteorology Division. This is above anyone's paygrade here. They're already busy as-is, so if Tokinaga wants to work on anything else, he's instructed to pursue it as a personal side project.
Two years later. They'd never followed up on his warnings, he's not heard a word. He should be getting for work already, but he can't bring himself to do it. He remains in bed, haggard in appearance and worn down. His psyche's been crushed by the persistent tension and unease brought on by his need to try to change things, to save people -- but nobody had listened. He's stopped liking people, and feels so utterly alone.
'Nobody even wants to listen. Even though so many people are going to die if they don't...'
Then, a voice beside him cheerily yips.
"Tokinaga! Good morning! You're going to be late for work!"
There's some... creature beside him. Even through the haze of memory, its form is a little unclear to Lucien's perception, but it appears as some sort of amalgamation of features -- an eyeless sharp maw with antler-like horns, birds' wings and feet, and a snake-like tail.
"Everyone's going to die anyway," he replies dully, face buried in his pillow. The creature lays there on its back, feetsies up in the air, though its ears fall. It's hard to read, but maybe it's in thought.
"......Tokinaga, you're... so sensitive to the suffering of others, but you undervalue your own far too much." Then, with a renewed cheer, it shouts -- "That's why I like you, Tokinaga! You're so kind!"
Something about that kicks Tokinaga back into focus, slowly sitting up. There's a mild horror to his face as he realises how far he'd fallen.
"......You're... right. I... I used to have a human heart. That's why I wanted to help others to begin with. I'd stopped believing in anybody -- I almost just lost myself."
Ah. He can't let that happen. Ever. The creature uprights itself, ears perked back up again.
"Tokinaga's back to normal! Hooray!"
The Tokinaga in the memory looks back, managing a slight smile once more.
The Tokinaga in present watches that play out with a complicated expression. ]
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...
but he watches in silence. his hand goes to reach out for tokinaga, before stopping, as though uncertain if it's okay.]
... Would you rather I pretend I saw nothing?
[even if he can't, really.]
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Man. Truly if he could he would die before anyone found out about that creature. ]
Forgetting's not that easy. I'd rather you don't walk off with some weird assumptions...
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... Then, what was the truth that others wouldn't heed?
[he's starting to maybe see why tokinaga was so baffled that lucien simply believed zenn and anastasia.]
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